"πππ ππππππππβπ πππππ πππ" β mixed media canvas painting
This is my first (of many) canvas piece of 2024.
Iβve been on a journey over the last few months in therapy that has reignited my desire for creating art that is reflective of what is in my heart. I used to make these beautiful, detailed and often times, weird digital art pieces that were literally my heart exposed onto the screen. It was such a cathartic experience. Somewhere along the line, I stopped making them..
That missing piece in my work has been felt greatly, and after a long time of not going into this sacred, βartistβs spaceβ, I have finally returned, this time in the physical form of a mixed media canvas piece. Iβm so proud of myself for pursuing this avenue of creating and I am so eager to see what this produces in me.
This piece was inspired by a feeling I got while listening to a song called βthe last laughβ by Ethan Bortnick.
As I sat in a pew in the back of the spacious, Temppeliaukion Church or The Rock Church, in Helsinki, Finland on a sunny, June afternoon, I heard this song for the first time. It was one of those moments when someone has the ability to write words to the exact feeling you are experiencing. I sat in that pew, watching all the tourists come in and out, take their photos and stand in awe of the church, with tears streaming down my face. I felt like I was in the perfect location at the perfect time to pursue all that I wanted to in terms of art and lifestyle, but my relationship was crumbling; the garden was dying and we had flights booked back to America the next week. We left Finland just a few days later, right as I felt like I had just gotten comfortable.
The feeling of one aspect of your life falling into place while another is in flames is a really interesting thing.
Since starting therapy a few months ago, I have been on a journey to heal wounds that have been in me for a long time. To work from the inside out, focus on nurturing my personal and mental health, and to build back that beautiful garden that once was..
This piece is a commitment to sit in the mud with my partner and accept the life around me β and the people around me β as they are.
acrylic, paper, candle wax, plastic, pencil shavings, etc. on canvas
We've spun around on this merry-go-round, the carousel's final lap
The weeds spring up and the garden dies
Been watering all the wrong things
We've decomposed our self-control
Our words have lost their weight
β¦
If something new ever blooms
Your roots remain
And I'll never feel the same
βthe last laughβ by Ethan Bortnick