Time Well Spent

This morning, I asked my mom a question that I knew the answer to. I was making toast in the kitchen, turned to her and said, "So does each year seem to go be faster and faster as you get older?" and before I even finished my sentence, she was nodding.

Next year I turn 20, which sound really weird,  also not weird at all. When I was 17 I would have sworn to you that I was 25 trapped in a younger body, but nowadays, I sorta just feel like I'm trying as hard as everyone else my age to be a human each day.

When I look back on this year, I have very mixed feelings towards it. I spent a lot of time traveling towards the beginning, spent the whole summer at a full time internship/job that I hated, and spent the fall and Christmas season working on my watercolor art & feeling quite alone.

On the other hand, I did learn a lot this year. I traveled on my own for the first time, continued to cultivate adult & meaningful relationships with my parents & siblings, figured out I cannot stand to work an office job, discovered my out-of-this-world love for water colors, got a job I enjoy at Paper Source & if I'm being really honest, I just found a lot of really great music this year that's impacted me quite a bit in many positive ways.

But let's be real: I wasted a lot of time this year, and I'm sure you did, too. The weight of the Instagram Anvil is still super heavy on all of us who use the app religiously, despite the fact that no one really talks about social media's death grip on society anymore, and sometimes I wonder why I'm even still in it.

I try my best to only follow people I know and care about in person, because I would probably otherwise go crazy. But even then, it's still too much.

If I'm honest, there are about 20-30 people that I consider my friends, and out of those 20-30, there are maybe 10 that I see on a regular basis and only around 5 or 6 that really know me and could vouch for me on a personal level. That's not a lot of people, and still, sometimes I feel like I can't give all of my friends the attention and love they deserve from me.

I think it's really fun to keep up with lots and lots of creative and like-minded people around the world through Instagram, especially since the Stories feature. (Joe Greer's Instagram stories could be on a continuous loop in my home & I would be happy) But what I've noticed happening lately, is that I get wrapped up in someone's content that I have 1) never met & 2) honestly do not care about. Anytime I find myself browsing through someone's pretty photos or watching a behind the scenes Instagram story, I (sometimes out loud) ask myself the question, "Do you really care about this?" or "Does this really matter?" Sometimes the answer is yes, but most of the time it's totally no. In my entire life, I think I've found inspiration from Instagram like four times, so today is probably not the day I'm going to be magically inspired by a high school girl's "candid" photo of her friend that she took with her DSLR in Automatic mode. (Shots fired, Kaylee. I know, I know. Seriously though. She's gonna get 340 likes whether I see her photo or not, so let's move on.)

Everytime I talk about Instagram, I always feel like people think that I'm so judgmental and annoyed that I should probably just get off the internet for good. And while I am definitely always annoyed and definitely quite judgemental towards Instagram, I know that there is a good and meaningful purpose for me on the Internet. Here on my blog, I share personal entries and extended information about my photography & art. On Instagram, I go through phases of the types of photos I post. I share lyrics in the descriptions and love to encourage & comment on other creative people's work I find beautiful.

I'm not interested in quitting social media, but I am interested in taking a step back rather frequently & examining my motives, figuring out where I honestly draw inspiration from & focusing on that part of life instead.

So In 2017, I want to read more books & watch more movies. I want to work towards waking up at 6 am every morning, spend more time outside, paint as much as I possibly can, & travel & document more of the country.

I would love to encourage you to take a step back and examine your life. Not so much so that you get a headache, but just enough so that you can figure out what your true priorities are and adjust your life accordingly so that you can focus on those important things the best you can. We are capable of so much as humans - let's put our energy into things that count and things that propell us forward into better productivity, better creativity and better relationships with those who matter to us.

Thanks for reading. 

Until next time,