Journal Entry: I'll Wait Here While My Light Is Low
Psalm 25:3-7 / Indeed, none who wait for You shall be put to shame. Make me to know Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation, and for You I wait all the day long. Remember Your mercy, O Lord, and Your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions, according to Your steadfast love remember me, for a sake of your goodness, O Lord.
Psalm 26:3 / Your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in Your faithfulness.
This month and this particular week, it has been hitting me hard that my life is not about me. Each and every single day I have woken up with a heavy heart full of frustration, confusion and sadness. It's not as bad as it sounds when I type out those words - I am not by any means depressed or doubtful. But at this point in my life, I believe God has given me these feelings for the purpose of drawing me closer to Himself.
Whatever I hope the next phase of my life might bring me - good or bad - is nothing compared to what I already posses in Jesus: a promise of salvation and never ending love from Him. John 16:33, Jesus says, In this world you will have struggles, but take heart; I have overcome the world. And it is easily my favorite Bible verse. It seems simple, yet has so much meaning. Anything we face in this world - desires we have, opportunities we've missed, people we've lost, pain we've felt - Jesus has felt it all, and He has overcome it all so that we can have hope and life in Him.
As I always say, there is always light to come from the dark points of life when I feel all hope has been lost. There is a beautiful pearl waiting to be seen underneath its shell, but the pearl will not posses any beauty until rough sand has invaded its shell and softened it, making it shiny and beautiful. As believers, we are the same. Every struggle I face, every feeling I have, every seeming doubt I might have about God's plan for my life - He will use these things to draw me closer to Him. To depend solely on Him for my satisfaction and joy, because everything in this world will let me down. But when I cling to Him and His will for my life as a believer, He takes delight in blessing me with what He has made my heart to desire on this earth. And for that, I am hopeful.